Recently I have noticed a lot more people stating their distaste for labels. No, not the designer labels that you can find at Fairview but the labels used to describe, categorize and sometimes even stigmatize people. In this specific case I am pertaining to the labels used in the LGBTQ community. Now please forgive my ignorance since I am not familiar with all the labels or what they all mean (Do not be afraid to send me a note correcting me if I am wrong though).

First of all I will admit that I do not necessarily hate labels. In fact in a lot of cases I prefer them. Not because I enjoy stereotyping people or making large assumptions but because it helps identify certain types of people. However for me, I have an open enough mind to know that just because you might fit in to a certain “type” does not mean you have every single characteristic of that sort.

Labeling things and people is just human nature. Our minds are constantly analyzing data packets and placing them in to folders and subfolders of other larger data packets. It is natural to label something so you know exactly where that fits in. When you label a person or a group of people, you have to take in to account that they are more than just that title. Just like I am more than just gay; I am Shaun who is male, 32 years old and have a wide range of likes, dislikes, characteristics (good and bad) and other things all rolled up in to one human being.

I use to be labelled (it is debatable what I am considered now) as a “chub”. A chub is a type of man that fits into the gay Bear community; is overweight and usually has a baby face. Was I more than that? Of course I was but that label helped me identify what group of men would accept me. Now that seems a little superficial and in some cases it can be but until I was introduced to the Bear community I was having a hard time fitting in.

I was a husky man already not fitting in to the heterosexual world and being rejected by the gay world as well. I remember one time I went to the club Unity with some friends. Unity was the more popular gay club at the time and was usually full. I was dancing with some friends and a group of thin, snobby guys looked at me, gave me the dirtiest of looks and then laughed. That was the last time I went to Unity (until a recent friend’s Birthday). I did not fit into to the world of washboard abs and fit 140 pound gay men.

I had started to become a little depressed because I had just started to really feel good in my skin and was not afraid to be gay anymore. Anyways to make a long story short I met someone who was attracted to bigger guys and he told me all about the Bear world. It helped me a lot to find a community where I fit in even if it came with labels.

I am telling you this not to encourage you to label yourself because sometimes people do not fit in to any category. In part that is why the acronym LGBTQ keeps growing – I think there is an “A” in there and an “I” as well. Back to my point – I am telling you this story because for those of you who despise labels, others need them. The important part is to know who YOU are and not to let others change you into something you are not by labeling you.

These days I do not know what category I fit in to but it does not bother me because I am in a period of transition. I mean we are always changing but that is beside the point. I do not mind being labelled just as long as people realize I am more than the label and that no one fits any label 100%.

I was going to go through the common labels and explain what some of them are but I decided against it while writing this blog entry. I decided not too because I feel it would not be appropriate to talk about it here. I am not an expert and a lot of these labels come with personal views that should be discussed with others and not just stated in this blog. Instead I think sometime in September I will lead a discussion on labels. The key there is it will be a discussion not an information session.